Seebo the Knife: Reflections

"Are you there? Um, I'm not quite sure if I need to do something special or what. Neil said you talked to him sometimes." This is stupid. Why would Heakun care anything about a nobody like me? "Please. I need someone to talk to."

A halfling sat in the back of the cargo hold of the Elensil quietly muttering to himself. He had his knees pulled in to his chest with his arms wrapped around them. His head was bowed, his face buried in the darkness.

"Ok, well maybe you want to just listen. Here goes. I'm scared. I don't know why I was picked to be a Starborn. I don't want to be one, not now, not ever. I didn't ask for this. I just want to find a new life somewhere where I can start over.

"I did those horrible things. I mean, I think I did. I don't remember. I had to though. I was the only one who walked away. I'm not a good person. How can they expect me to do this?"

The Knife's voice faltered and his words cracked. He had unknowingly started to rock back and forth as he sat in the darkness pleading with Heakun. His eyes welled up but he fought back the tears. The strong don't cry, they don't show weakness, he thought to himself. But I'm talking to myself. I've lost it. I've finally gone off the deep end. Why fight it now?

The tears came finally and this time Seebo didn't fight them back. He let the grief of almost a decade of pain finally surface. His parents' death, the only friends he ever knew, the one woman he truly trusted, the city he fought to protect, the countless innocent lives lost, the pain of it all was overwhelming.

"Why should I have to see so many people die!?! What do you have against me? WHY!?!" Seebo screamed at the darkness as he cried. His eyes burned, his voice cracked, he lost control of his emotions.

He screamed until he was hoarse and could no longer stand, the weight of years of repression being lifted from him left him weak. After a few minutes, Seebo's emotions calmed a bit and he gained a bit more composure. He was able to resume his conversation, thinking a bit more clearly now.

"I miss them all so much. I wish I could have at least had a chance to tell my parents how much I loved them. It happened so fast. I wish I could see them again. But it's ok. Everything will be ok because I knew how much they loved me. They would be ashamed to see what I had become. I'm sorry, Annie. I loved you too, I can't imagine letting those assholes do what they did while I just watched. I'll do right by you; I'll be a better person for you and for my parents. I can be better than that. Don't you think? I've proven I can do the right thing; I tried to save peoples' lives. I did save peoples' lives. How many more would have died had we not brought the warning to Saragost? We did right and we gave every person on Chillhame a fighting chance.

"These people, this group of individuals, the Starborn. Why were we brought together, what made us the right people for this quest? I can't imagine how the seven of us are supposed to save the world. Until recently we could barely get along. Hell, there was a time when I didn't even want to be in the same room as Rygorh.

"Do you think we have a chance? I think we do. But what about Saragost? What about all those innocent people? Oh gods, what if they did actually corrupt the Node?

"I need some time to myself if you don't mind. There's a lot happening right now. Thanks for listening."

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